One thing that I noticed over the past couple of years is a lot of us had some time to really sit and think about the direction our lives were taking and have been seeking a new path to truly fulfill ourselves. This book is one tool that may be useful. Read an excerpt from Raise the Bar by Jay Ibrahim and then download your own copy. Remember to leave comments and to ask questions as you follow the tour. Best of luck entering the giveaway!
An important part of self-care is self-supervision. Laurie Ponsford-Hill is going to teach you how. Today I have an exclusive excerpt from The Art of Self-Supervision for you and then you can read more as you follow the tour. Be sure to download your own copy and leave comments for the author along the way. Best of luck in the giveaway!
Read an exclusive excerpt:
Schön (1983) describes reflective practice as a semi-structured, self-regulated process, noting that it is practicable for professionals in a variety of disciplines. He observes that the goal of self-reflection is to enhance the individual’s ability to make informed and balanced decisions, adding that this is particularly important for the practicing professional. He believes that the creation and maintenance of a virtual world, such as a sketch pad, can open a reflective conversation about issues relevant to the artist. The conversation facilitates making discoveries and promotes further self-reflection on the individual’s intuitive responses; it is both a method of inquiry and an intervention. Self-reflection is a valuable way for professionals to explore their experiences.
The act of creation brings the unknown onto the page enabling the art therapist to bring forth self to engage with their reality (B. L. Moon, 1997; C. H. Moon 2002; Ulman, 2001). The art therapist has the essential knowledge to liberate feeling, create new self-awareness and expose deep unconscious content, even when these elements are interpreted by and for themselves through their art (Allen, 1995; B. L. Moon, 1997; C. H. Moon, 2002). The therapist looks within to understand experiences, and the subsequent countertransference with their image evokes deeper elements of the unconscious (Shaverien, 1995). Professionals need a way to make informed and balanced decisions, and self-reflective practice provides a valuable means for the professional to explore their lived-experience (Schön, 1983). The art therapist is in a unique position to engage in self-exploration through art, as the profession is based on aesthetic exploration.
Strong friendships are important. I realize that more and more the older that I get. Author Brenda Billings Ridgley is teaching us how to create powerful friendships to be stronger versions of ourselves. Read an excerpt and then follow the tour for more. Be sure to also enter the great giveaway!
The Tribe
Traditionally, a Tribe is a social division in society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties. Some Tribes have a common culture and dialect, and typically they have a recognized leader. A customary Tribe is a face-to-face community, relatively bound by kinship relations, reciprocal exchange, and strong ties to place.
The term Tribe should be utilized only with great respect and consideration of its origins. It is with the term’s heritage in mind that I aspire to create that culture with my closest friends. This social division, group, or pack are linked by common social patterns, interests, and sometimes, goals. As the group connects together over time, they establish the Tribe’s personality, lingo, patterns, and rituals.
Your Tribal space feels like home when you arrive. It is safe, encouraging and makes you feel relevant because you are truly seen. Your Tribe cares about your opinions and what you have to say. They are proud of your talents and strengths and are not threatened by your success. Your Tribe will promote rather than ignore or diminish your wins. Although these close friends can be a great influence for you to be better and do better, there is no contest; you do not feel competitive with one another. The experience of finding your Tribe can be life changing. It becomes a mirror reaffirming who you are and where you belong.
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So many of us are seeking our authentic selves so that we can lead greater lives. In Say Yes to Life, author Elliott Robertson aims to help us along that journey. Read an excerpt from the book, as well as a guest post that addresses a lot of the "What if's." Be sure to leave questions and comments here and as you follow the rest of the tour. Best of luck entering the giveaway!
Read an excerpt:
The opinions we carry about ourselves are not readily identified. They are not easy to spot. We think the opinion (“I can’t handle adult responsibilities,” or “I’m socially awkward and therefore I’ll always be rejected”) is a fair, objective description. We mistake the mask we’re wearing for who we are, and we have no recollection of ever choosing the mask, or putting it on.
To say Yes to life is to bow down to Spirit, to make the “Yes” God utters more important than any other considerations.You may think of yourself as hobbled in certain ways. Your negative self-talk may have convinced you that you are not smart enough to pursue something you dream about. You may have formed unflattering opinions about, say, your artistic abilities, and these opinions may have caused you to leave your art supplies in the attic, untouched for years.
Cling to the negative self-talk no longer. Listen to Divine Intelligence say “Yes” to you, instead.
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For Every Breakdown, There’s A BreakthroughFor every breakdown there’s a breakthroughOver to the sunny side.Life will take you down, butLove will take youOn to pastures green and wide.With every breakdown, there’s a breakthrough God provides.Growth lays its stake down and remakes youOn the milk and honey side;Does its shakedown, won’t forsake youSo growth is never satisfied.For every breakdown, there’s a breakthroughOn the “tears-get-runny-side.”Oh, what aches now?This may hurt you.Still once the saddest tear has driedThe happy ones you haven’t criedEvoke the joys personified,Proving the ride is worth the price when you “make do.”So for every breakdown, there’s a break through.—Tony Haynes
The words we say and hear can build us up or tear us down. The right words can even help you heal. During your divorce, you probably exchanged harsh remarks with your ex. The old saying “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me” is utterly false. Not only do the words we say affect us deeply, sticks do not hurt very much at all. When was the last time you got a broken bone from a stick? On the other hand, the words you hear or say can stay in your mind for a very long time. The emotional pain from hurtful words usually lasts much longer than it takes for any bruise or broken bone to heal.
Guard yourself from harmful words, especially the ones you say to yourself. If you don’t want it to be your future, don’t say it. This means don’t think it silently in your head, either. There is no such thing as a “silent” thought. When you hear yourself say something negative in your head, tell yourself out loud, “That’s just old bad baggage I missed when cleaning the ex out of the house.” Of course, we will all have our vulnerable areas, but use words to build your self‑esteem instead of fostering a long-term belief in an untruth.
You can’t un-ring a bell, and you can’t prevent what others say to you. You can, however, choose what you believe. When you hear someone say something critical or derogatory to you or about you, there’s no need to allow the words into your life. You decide what your truth is, not them. Why react to untruths? Choose the truthful uplifting words, not the bad words that have no place in your life.
If you struggle with this, now would be a great time to sit down and make a list of ten positive statements about yourself. Whenever anyone compliments you, add his or her comments to your list, citing who said it, along with the date. Keep your list handy and read your list whenever someone says unkind words to you or you have an unkind thought about yourself. In the latter case, repeat the positive statement as often as you need to so that you believe it and erase the negative opinion.
Every time you speak to others, try to use positive words. By building others up, you will start building yourself up. You will become a positive and happier person. You will see more color in the world, not just the black and grey you may be feeling. Anytime you think something positive, say it. You never know; you might just make someone else’s day. Being kind will certainly never hurt you.
When you hear bad things said about you or to you, do not let them get you down. Very often when people say and do unkind things, it is because they are insecure about themselves and their lives or actions. In order to make themselves feel better, some people choose to belittle others because they believe this will make them superior people, or at least feel like superior people. There are also people who project their undesirable feelings onto someone else instead of dealing with those feelings themselves. Remember the old saying, “When you are pointing at someone, there are three more fingers pointing back at you.” Other people may say negative things because they are sad and unhappy. Then there are people who are just bad people, and bad people say and do bad things. Reconsider their place in your life right now. Finally, there are people who were never taught good manners.
When people say bad things, it is always more a reflection of them than it is of you. Happy people usually do not resort to saying or doing things that harm others. They typically prefer to stay positive and say and do uplifting things for others. If someone’s comment bothers you, take a moment and think; is there any part of what they said that’s true? Is there something you would like to change? If it bothers you and there is something you can do about it, take action.
Most often, however, you need to treat these comments and bad words like a foreign language you must seize and translate in your head. Here are a few of examples how to translate what someone says to you; hopefully you will start coming up with your own very soon.
If someone says to you, “You’re not pretty, young, or sexy enough for me,” translate it to, “You are so comfortable with yourself. I wish I could find that feeling of tranquility inside me.” How about “You’re just dumb”? Translated, it becomes, “I wish I could see the wonder of the world through your eyes.” You can make “You are fat and eat too much” become “What a person! Defying society and eating the way one wants to. I wish I had the courage to tell this person how exceedingly proud I am of her for defying social conventions.”
You are in charge of the translations; it is time to make yourself the shining star of every comment made. You deserve it! Translating negative comments can even become your own secret language. We all deserve a language filled with special words we truly believe in and live by.
Now that you have learned to translate (and how easy was that? It took me four years to learn a little French, but this is a snap!), give your response to the negative commenter in your head as you walk away. You really do not need to waste your breath and words on people who say and do these things to you. So hold your head high and for an extra little kick put one of the “If you only knew what I am thinking” kind of smiles on your face. It will drive the other person crazy because you are not giving them the reaction they wanted.
Do not allow criticism, self-doubt, or some other weight around the neck to bring you down. I would like to say you are a beautiful strong person and I believe in you.
The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.—Proverbs 15:4 (NIV)
